Poland seen Irish way

Irish people are divided into those who know nothing about Poland, and those who were in Krakow and think they know something about Poland. Both of them know nothing about Poland. Their basic knowledge on this subject stems from what they see at home, and that for a change is often detached from reality – columnist writer Piotr Czerwinski for the Virtual Poland.

Good morning or good evening to everyone. Yes, it’s true. ‘Irole’ do not know much about Poland. It is, moreover, national nightmare in many countries of the so-called West that their residents in certain areas of knowledge do not feel the best, and geography is at the forefront of these fields. Eastern Europe is so exotic, that most of them are not sure exactly where it is and if there is guaranteed access to electricity in this part of the world… I met an Irishman who was convinced that Poland is situated between France and Germany. Another claimed that our country has only existed for several years, as has always been part of Russia. Another believed that Poland as a country does not exist at all, and its inhabitants are simply migrating tribes.
Unfortunately, the guy was not joking, and I’m getting closer to the conclusion that he was absolutely right. French topic is indeed much more prevalent, specifically in response to the news that Poland had resistance movements and I’ve even heard that many French people were willing to die for our country. No wonder: knowledge about the Second World War came from the TV series “Allo-Allo.”

Slightly more smart ‘Irole’ who chose the book from the school hurling, or eagerly watch the Discovery Channel, have usually conviction that Poland is the second Ethiopia, although with the arctic climate. Substantially Poland has polar bears running everywhere, Polish receive weekly food parcels from the Red Cross and the sun is constitutionally excluded, and all the Poles are labor workers, never speaking foreign languages… Since compatriots signal similar content from USA and the UK, statistical Irol imagines terrible things about the average Pole.

We need an almost drastic measures to prove that we are much more civilized nation, than anyone seems to perceive and that not every Pole is ‘illiterate Czech’ and not all Poles are from Southampton. Because as you know, it is now the largest Polish city in the world and existential flower of the Polish intelligency.Any attempt to prove the contrary is an act of political manipulation. With all respect to Czech brothers.

I have my favorite ways to combat stereotypes. When I hear the question: “u’re from Poland and working in a pub?”, I answer “no, I’m a writer.” So, I hear: “a writer? wow, incredible!”, I say then: “You see, appearances can be deceiving. You, for example, seem to have a look of smart fellow..”
Before pub there were questions about construction, but since crisis nobody bothers it anymore…

Much more challenging discussions are performed by those who believe that a foreigner has no right to know English, so Irish generation speak to any foreigner, as he was retarded or 3 yr. old. These are usually people who are confident, based on their own experience of not knowing languages, that no one can learn any foreign language.

Their conviction of illiteracy is so strong that even when you, as foreigner of course, speak to them in their native dialect, you hear silence or buzz words like expressing everything in sign language in return. Of course there is always the possibility that those whom I encounter, are handicapped or are three years old as well. You never know.

Instantly it reminds me of an Irish woman, who hearing the news that in the Polish pubs for snobs only bread and lard are served, replies sagely: “In poor countries it’s normal.” So then I riposte whether in rich countries you suppose to eat for breakfast sausage and for all the other meals a bucket of potatoes, just like in the land of bajobongo, but for that matter never get an answer…

“Bigos as a hand grenade?
Promoting Polish food in a local store.”

I become food related patriot when the two Irish grandmothers carefully watched hunter stew placed in glass jar as if it was a hand grenade, then put it carefully back on shelve, so it would not explode. People in these regions probably think that Polish food can be eaten only by the Poles, because all other nations can end up in terrible pain and diarrhea after consumption. So I took a national stand and I explained that our food is entirely organic, as we send all our chemicalized foods for abroad export. Consequently stew, pate and meatballs in my store could be the last healthy foods in the world. As it is known that chemical composition of Western food is similar to this placed in rocket Soyuz T-7. The two grandmothers, who appeared as smarter kind- possibly Discovery Channel viewers- and knowing what’s hot, nodding their heads in admiration, left the store with supply of stew and meatballs for the whole family, including all thirty grandchildren. Since then, I push the same bs to all grandmothers, whenever some stop at hunter stew shelve.
Viewing Irish vision of our country, it should be clear to everyone that Ireland is not overly industrialized country, and even Dublin itself is quite rustic, which demonstrates that, in terms of urbanization, there is something made out of nothing. I appreciate this city, moreover, its foggy, folklore, bottom storied nature because it acts as a vaccine for feeling down and thus it is not possible in this city to rush anywhere or worry about anything.

When Irish people watch photo images of Polish cities, they seem seriously shaken and refuse comments. Certainly they may suspect that they are shown a photomontage of Paris or Manhattan, and that some crafty weirdo with a bald head, pretending to be a Pole, grows some dodgy propaganda right in this image.

Oh well, let’s leave it up to their reception. After all, you can only do as much to improve global understanding….

 

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